Thursday, November 11, 2010

Racist Australia

Now, like alot of other Australians, when India reared its head and screamed that Australians were racist during that horrible investigation into attacks on Indian students, I stood up and said "WTF?! Australia isn't racist!"

And now, I've realized, 'no...no...actually, some Australians are so racist they should have been born 50 years ago.'

Why the change of heart?

Read here,

and here.

So who else is sick of "Foreigners are taking all our jobs" or "All Muslims are evil" or "if people want to live in Australia, they should live the 'Australian way'".

What the fuck is the 'Australian Way'? And who are these people?
I certainly haven't met any of them in real life. So thereby, they must hide or pretend to be decent, modern citizens during the day and only reveal their racist selves under the cover of night.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Rich people's poetry.




Now here's what I noticed. There is one young lady that I know of who blogs, writes, dances, sings, draws, explores and seems to be trying her very best to show off how spectacularly wonderful she is.

Now she is not alone in her amazing powers of the arts (heed sarcasm)--there are HEAPS of them out here. ('Here' being on the web and real life and 'them' being rich little kiddies who have too much time and money for their own good.)

Now here's my:
Slab of delicious red meat?
No.
Here's my beef.

For centuries, the arts have been primarily excelled at by those who have two things: Wealth and Time.

Now in my opinion, if you have wealth, you most likely have time. Far be it from me to judge (although it's actually not very far at all, in fact, I lie. I judge.) but would that we all have so much time and money --surely we'd all be spectacular at everything right?

If everyone's papa had the funds to let them travel the world writing and dancing then really, everyone could be very accomplished in both those things.

Call me bitter and jealous --for I am, and rightly so. Resentful even. I can't help but feel this injustice smack bam into my face. Nothing irritates me more than the wealthy priding themselves on their endless pursuits in perfecting their 'arts' when really, who cares? What are they doing but masturbating their (deluded) sense of social value?

So you dance well?
Great!
You can string words together?
WONDERFUL!

What?!
You've written poetry about nothing and something all at the same time and it's so wonderful that it leaves people scratching their heads because they don't really understand it, but dont want anyone to know it, so they just exclaim, "MARVELLOUS! Aren't you just marvellous?!" just so no one knows that they don't get it.

(You can't even blame them because really, most of those self-proclaimed poets aren't writing poetry at all. They're just writing in their own crazy code. No one save a highly experienced psychologist with extensive practice in psychoanalysis would be able to decode that crap.)

To be honest, if poetry was just a couple of sentences, paragraphed and obscure in meaning, then we can all be poets. See below:

A cloud, evanescence in obtuse,
bequeath a slow be-symphony

Haveth not all that can be,
A soliliquy of one's self and

in Essence,
A song of mut meanalysis.
What is a porterhouse?

Now, at least I know that the above is worse than crap. Worse actually. It's crap spewed from a diseased cow, consumed by a bogan donkey, digested in that donkey's mouldy intestine, excreted from the donkey's pimpled arse only to be consumed once again by an illiterate monkey, who is then drowned in sewerage and later consumed by a human who will then go completely insane, lose the function of his brain and then crap all over the walls. He then takes a quill formed from a feather plucked from a flea infested pigeon and dips it in the said crap to produce the above piece of ULTIMATE CRAPNESS.

Yeah, and it's still better than the shit those rich infidels spout.


Message of the day: You're not a poet, you're not a Beethoven incarnate, you can't dance like Michael Jackson (not a reference to Wongfu video on yt --that was actually pretty cool), you aren't more talented than other people --you're just lucky.

Be a decent human being and get off your high horse to help an old lady across the road once in a while. And if you can, try to help the smelly ones who are probably dying and lost, rather than the perfectly well dressed, actually only 50 yrs old, ladies who are happily crossing the roads themselves.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

trying really hard to let things go...but ...MIND RAGE.

So,

Have you ever felt like


but you pretended you were:



?

Well, I'm feeling it now. Thankfully, I'm reading Phillipa Gregory's "Early Joys". One should, as Sir Robert Cecil said in that book, act on the practical, rather than on principle.

Who would it benefit if I raged at the person who offends my morals at this point? Not me. So why do it?

Still.Angry bear.











Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Inspiration

Burn out

So, that's it.
Faced with too many assessments all at once, my natural reaction is to give up and loaf around the house.

Have to MAN UP.




...*cries*


ps. woke up skinnier, didn't realize, ate 3 slices of pizza for breakfast. Prediction: will wake up fat tomorrow.

Monday, August 30, 2010

It's been a long time.

Really busy.
Minimal sleep.
Psych essay due in 11 days, only just found out about it now ---dammit.
Psych quiz on this friday. Studied wrong crap. Dammit.
Java h/w to do by wed night.
Readings for thurs to do...by...thurs...
Random Client Support project due monday
IT essentials quiz on monday as well...
*dies*

mannn

ps.

I checked my email today and saw this:

If you can't read it, it says "Academy_Connection_Asses"

lol

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Rice paper

Breeann opened the lid of the rice cooker and exclaimed, "Pug, you made rice paper!"
"What?" I replied.

So, Anson and I both walked over to look at it. And yep, there it was, sitting on the edges of the rice cooking pot, was indeed, bits of rice paper, though somewhat brown at the edges.

Breeann handed me a piece and I looked at it for a bit.
"I wonder if it melts in your mouth," I remarked as I popped it into my mouth.
Well, it did, but I thoroughly regretted putting that in my mouth.

"What does it taste like?" Breeann asked curiously.

"Salty," I replied with a grimace, tossing the rest of it in the bin

Breeann looked at her handful of rice paper, hesitated for a split second--

--and then licked it.

"Ergh! What is that?!"

The end. :)

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Foul Lasagne.

You ever read a story so disturbingly fantastic that you don't really give a shit whether or not it's real?

Well, trust Breeann to find this. Don't be scared off by the parts --once you start reading the first post, you wont be able to stop. This stuff had me shuddering and laughing all at once. xD

Post 1 (He poops everywhere, owns tarantulas and beats you up. WORST roommate ever.)
Post 2
Post 3
Post 4
Post 5
Post 6
Post 7 (EPILOGUE)
Post 8 (TIDBIT)

Lunch tomorrow and the day after with my girliessss. =D
Dinner and guaranteed awesomeness on Friday night!
Watching Andy play soccer on Saturday! (GOOD LUCK!!!)
Lunch with James on Monday.
Lunch with Derek on Friday.


Lunch lunch lunch!

TAFE STARTS ON 20th!!!! (excited!!!)
Uni starts on 26th. (not so excited)

Gained alot of weight. Am now back at weight I was at before I got really sick. Can no longer fit into jeans comfortably.
DAMN TIM TAMS!!!

(and kettle chips, shapes, picnics, mars bars, snickers and freddo frogs)

Why did woolworths have to have such an awesome junk food sale?!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Speaking of Passive Aggression...

I looked it up and Wikipedia gave me this:

The book Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man lists 11 responses that may help identify passive-aggressive behavior:[1]

  • Ambiguity or speaking cryptically: a means of engendering a feeling of insecurity in others
  • Chronically being late and forgetting things: another way to exert control or to punish.
  • Fear of competition
  • Fear of dependency
  • Fear of intimacy as a means to act out anger: The passive aggressive often cannot trust. Because of this, they guard themselves against becoming intimately attached to someone.
  • Making chaotic situations
  • Making excuses for non-performance in work teams
  • Obstructionism
  • Procrastination
  • Sulking
  • Victimization response: instead of recognizing one's own weaknesses, tendency to blame others for own failures.

A passive-aggressive person may not have all of these behaviors, and may have other non-passive-aggressive traits.

Sound like anyone? I think Lis and Andy would know who I'm talking about.
Let's just say that I'm glad to be freeeeeeee.

Do not disturb the beast. P.Aggression. Love.

This is a long one. Brace yourself.


So I'm finishing a dream where I'm being put on trial for shooting a girl in the back of the neck with a BB gun. I maintain that it was self defense as she and her friends were shooting real bullets at me as they drove past. Meanwhile, I'm dealing with the personal issue of Andy having caused all of this by asking this girl out to tea earlier. I also note in my head that she is 15.

It's all very dramatic and Freud would have a field day analyzing it all, but then I am struck awake by the sound of Alicia Keys crooning "New Yorrrrrk...Concrete jungle where dreams are made of--".

I pick up my phone groggily and note 'BLOCKED'. I wonder briefly, '...Mum?'
I answer and the following conversation begins. Chloe. Agent.

"Hello?"
"Hello, Chloe, this is Tiffa."
"Oh, Hi."
"I just wanted to say I checked with Fair Trading and they having not received any letter." (These aren't typos. She was fob.)
"Oh, but I sent it on Tues --"
"But they haven't received it. Can you please send it ASAP because it's really unfair for me to wait. I have to pay the cleaners."
(To which I think, 'bull shit. You have to pay the mortgage.')
"Maybe I punched the wrong number in. Can you resend the number to me?"
"Sure, I will. But please make sure you do it for me ASAP."

So we hang up and I think, "wow, she must really need this. Okay, I'll do it in the arvo--you know, when I wake up."

A minute later Alicia starts crooning again.

"Hello?"
"Hello Chloe? It's Tiffa."
"Oh, hi. You...haven't sent me the number?"
"I know. I just wanted to say that you have to send the letter today or I will have to go to the Tribunal, because well it's been a month since you moved and really..."
(I tune out at this point because I know it's crap. Fair Trading sent me a letter earlier in the week saying that I don't need to do anything if I agree with this claim, it would be paid in 2 weeks.)
"Listen, Tiffa, I'll do it, just send me the number again," I try to intersect through the onslaught of attempted guilt-tripping and false threatening.
"Do not yell at me!" She says and continues rambling.

At this point, because I am quite tired and ill, I decide I'm sick of it and hang up.
A moment later, I hear Anson's phone go off (he was borrowing Mum's because his sim card died).

The shortened (slightly) version of what follows is that I take the phone from Anson and tell her exactly what I think. That she is being unreasonable, rude and that I know exactly what my rights are.

"I have been very good to you. I always repair anything that's broke," she begins.

What a pathetic attempt at guilting me. Does she not know I have been trained with the most apt guilt trip guru ever? (My mother.)
I then go to read to her an excerpt of the letter Fair Trade sent me, and her weak reply is,

"Well I do not think I deserve to wait 2 weeks for it."


I think, "I don't think 2 weeks is enough, you child."

I try to reason with her again, to which she would not, again, let me speak and then she hangs up on me.

I call her back.

"Hello?"
"...Are you ready to talk like an adult now?"

(Hey I get the hypocrisy of this statement, but I'm 22 and she's what? 40? She should really know better. =P)


"Yes, I am ready. I just treat you the way you treat me."

"Oh, wow, I've learnt my lesson so well. I will never do it again. Good job."

She rambles some more, and I remind her that though she has been a good landlord, I have also been a good tenant. I tell her I will re-fax the letter, and then again, she hangs up on me.

So the next email follows:

Dear ,


I have faxed the letter through (again), though to be quite honest, in response to the crude, distasteful way in which you have treated me regarding this matter, anyone else may have just let you wait another two weeks for it.

However, I do understand that it is quite difficult for you at the moment, financially, as I do know you have yet to successfully lease out your unit.

For that reason, I assure you that I bear you no hard feelings and wholeheartedly forgive you for the unprofessional conduct you have shown towards me, especially the second phone call to me this morning, which you must admit as we both know, was nothing more than a scare-tactic --a very rude one at that, which in actuality is much an insult to my intelligence, and yours, but again, I do sympathize with your reasons very much and hold no grudges.

Please be assured of my best wishes for the future, although as a friend, I must remind you that sadly, other tenants may not be so understanding.

Kindly,



Chloe Law



I feel better, and I think she might just be...well...livid at this point. If she can get past reading so much English that is.

As they say "Goodbye and good riddance!"

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Hair Pugs

...Can you spell 'EW'?



Watching Sex and City, season 2, there was this episode featuring a man with strange alien things protruding from his forehead.

To which Breeann asked, with a mixture of confusion and what I think is disgust, "Are those hair plugs?"


...But what is a hair plug?

Well, according to this website "hair plug surgery and it entails the removal of skin with live hair follicles from one part of the body medically referred to as the donor site to another balding spot on the same person’s body; this part is referred to as the recipient site" .



...So essentially, it's sort of like that surgery women have --you know, where they take fat from her arse and shove it in her lips or something.

Except, you know, it's hair from his arse......onto his head.

Mmmm...imaging caressing that during a kiss. =P

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Amidst the rattle of a lozenge being popped out of its packaging.

I can't remember what I said two minutes ago, but it was fantastic and I wish I was blogging it right now.



Yes, I watched it. I have to admit, it's not as great as the recent hype has made it out to be. It is, however, FAN-FREAKIN-TASTIC!

Just you know, not that teary.

And Buzz in Espanola?! "SI!"












I woke up feeling thin again today! Does that sound too pathological?
Probably, buy hey, who isn't pathologically something these days? At least I'm not one of those freaks who think because they watch Lie to me they can read minds.

Anyway, fit into my old jeans, LOL. It was an awesome feeling. I did, however, then proceed to eat KFC chips, a Cornetto, half a packet of DORITOS and Tim Tams.

Oh, what's with the title? Well, Anson was popping a lozenge when I started typing. So this is dedicated to him.

With Love,

Was that too much?

=D

Monday, June 28, 2010

PUG is PIG with an accent.

My head hurts!

Prunes are making me experience Joe Hisaishi's "The Wind of Life" in a literal sense.

I walked into my Tafe course Info session and saw 2 other women in the room.
I felt very intimidated and ostracized. O__o

.....................

They gave us a test. One of the questions was:

A car has a cost price of 10,000. You want to sell it at a proft of 20%. What is the selling price with 10% GST?

My logic:

20% of 10,000 is 2000
10,000 + 2000 = 12,000
+ GST of 10%
10% of 12000 =

...
... 120?

Total = 12120.

....Fail.


The other day I was downloading stuff and this popped up.



Hey hey, no really! How cool is that?!


I am jealous of Nat Tran. Sigh.
Youtube superstars are so cool!

...and yet not. But I wish I was one! But you know...like nobody I actually know would know.

Lunch at Ichiban Boshi. Very awkward moment.
Wrote my name on the waiting list, turned to leave, and felt a tap on my shoulder. Saw a young asian guy through the corner of my eye and WAY irrationally this scenario popped into my head.

GUY: You're so physically attractive. Marry me?

But then in real life he says pointedly, "...uh...the pen."
I realize I walked off with it. Good going, Chloe.
..........................................................

I went hunting for something pretty, cheap and pointless.
So I bought Gremlins on DVD.
Fantastic.

=D

Breeann noticed something very political.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zReX7OpfZXY

Doesn't she look like Pauline Hanson?
......................................................................................................

Last night:

Anson swallows pills.
I think a bit and ask, "Anson, when did you last take your meds? You know you take them every four hours right?"
He answers very exasperatedly, "Duh. How many times do I have to tell you? 5:30, 9:30..." He pauses and looks very alarmed.
I finish the sentence for him.

"11:30."


I love 16 yr olds.