So I'm sitting here, thinking about the 13 year old boy who was swept away by floodwaters to his death, along with his mother. And I'm trying to imagine his fear, his terror, as he tells the lone rescuer (alone among many people who are only standing by, watching) to take his little brother first. (Read original article here)
I'm wondering, what that old man felt as he watched the rope he'd tried to tie around mother and son, snap. What was he feeling as he watched them swept away? What would you feel?
Would you have been the bystander, or the helper?
I'm also sitting here, looking at that event page I created to encourage people to donate, to help people in QLD. A measly 24 (now 28 OMG...pretty stoked actually lol), including myself, among 223 friends invited, pmed and so forth.
Now, give or take, I'll say maybe 5-10 more people maybe donated and didn't click attend. But what about people who don't care enough? It doesn't matter that they don't care really, but these are some of the people who talked about their handbags and bra sizes to 'raise awareness for Breast Cancer' (yes, because we didn't know what it was. Really, we needed to work through the riddle of your status to find out). Or they changed their profile pictures to 'raise awareness for Child Abuse' (yes, because that will stop the pedos).
Would I be the rescuer? Or would I be the bystander?
It's none of my business.
I can't do anything to help.
Other people will do it so they don't need me.
We all like to think we'd help. We all like to condemn others for not helping, but really, come the time we need to step up and help someone --do we? Of course not. Very few actually do. We always wait to see if anyone will do it first. It's called the Bystander Effect --and fact is, most of us will be the Bystander.
Now, don't get me wrong, I never really go crusading. I'll help, but usually, you'll have to shoot me before I stand up and actively try and make other people do the same. Why? I hate the responsibility --but at least I admit it.
Maybe this year I just got sick of being quiet. Sick of reading through mundane statuses, sick of reading statuses like 'Red' or 'On the table' --sick of bull shit.
And yeah, I've been guilty of the same. I'm ashamed of it, and dammit, I won't do it again.
I think if you want to help, if you want to say you're a good person, then go out and be one. If you want to help with the Breast Cancer cause, donate. Take that stupid cartoon off your profile picture and volunteer for something.
Otherwise, you're just lying to yourself.
Don't get me wrong. There's nothing wrong with not wanting to help, not really caring, having other things to do. Life is hectic, and you have bills, you have social events, you have work. Sometimes you just don't have anything to give at the moment.
But admit it. Don't lie yourself. If you care, you do something about it. If you don't care at the moment, don't pretend to. Next time you update your status to something stupid, ask yourself how much you're really doing.
Being a Bystander isn't what's wrong. Telling yourself you're not one, when you really are --that's wrong.
You might say that admitting it alone won't do anything. You're not correct there. If you don't admit it, you can never change --because you'll never see the need to --because in your head, you're perfect. If you can admit it, then you might change, you have the option of changing, because you know there's room for it.
My new years resolution: To stop lying to myself. Wtf are you going to do this year?
