...mega...annoyed.

So I am in the middle of reading Dengeki Daisy. Yes, it's Shoujo manga, and yes I am allowed to be girly now and then.

My day actually started off really crap. Nightmare about something I couldn't control, followed by major anxiety, until eventually I got up off my ass and went for a drive/walk. By the way, did anyone ever notice how nice it is to see old people do Tai Chi and stuff in the park? I love it! Part of me can barely wait to do it too!!!!

There was one strikingly magical moment (and slightly horrifying/gross) where I was walking, when suddenly this huge flock of birds (pigeons, ducks, those strange hooked nose birds) just migrated from one side of the path to the other --with me standing right in the middle. It was a flurry of fluttering and beating of wings. At first I just stood there, transfixed as they moved around me. And then of course I ducked as one zipped past my head. Following that there was the horribly panicky moment where I wondered if I would get pooped on.

...Sorta broke the whole 'magical element' of it. Afterwards, my head felt itchy and I started panicking about fleas or flea-like parasites that may have jumped off the birds, onto me.

But hey, that one brief moment before all that --totally worth it.

...Why wasn't anyone there to see it?! Namely, why weren't there any goodlooking men on their way to work (maybe even a doctor bahaha) that would look across the park and be transfixed by the sight of a small asian girl caught in the middle of a flurry of wings and feathers?!

It was a movie moment and nobody was there to witness it! BAH! MEGA HUMBUG!

Spent the rest of the day reading Hatsukoi Limited, and then Dengeki Daisy. Didn't help that "You've got mail" starring Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks was on tv tonight too. I was all charged up on romantic daydreams, which were then crushed by the realization of harsh reality (that I'd gained weight and couldn't get it off, plus have no romantic life right now, hmm...).

What's worse? Well, you always know immediately when a good friend has found a new romantic target. How? Well, they simply start ignoring you. Bah.

Yes, I am jealous!! Why?! Because he's probably out there living out my romantic dreams!! Not fair! I want a Mr. Darcy! Where's my gripping love comedy?!

This is exactly how I feel when somebody wins the lottery. I maintain that it was my money and they had no business winning it. No business at all!!!

*rolls around*

...How is it that there are so many men in this world and I can't find one that can charm me even a little?! (Well, probably because I was in the country was 2 months, in Hong Kong for 10 days, then under house arrest due a terrible flu for around about a month now).

The only contact with a possible male lead was when I called for an ambulance. Man he was cute, that paramedic.

Too bad I was in a singlet, my PJ shorts and hadn't shaved my legs. Oh, and did I mention the rash-moustache from wiping my nose non-stop?! ARGHHH


...


...


...Whoever is in charge of writing the plots for my love life needs to come back from their vacation and do their job! GRRRR...

meanwhile.

I want to be thin.


Man...this sucks. *throws things*

ps. Lump in breast. Fibroadenema (or whatever). Need to see specialist. Want to cut it out.

...I wonder if they'll let me keep it. Hmmmmmmmmm...

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At around 1:30am today I received a facebook message that a young woman I once worked with had passed away on Tuesday this week.

Her name was Corin Westwood-Jones. When I went to my interview to get that job, she was the first person I met. She was the receptionist that greeted me. Then as time went by, she became our stand-in manager.

I always thought she was the nicest. I always thought she was wonderful. God, I thought I had gone through life saying everything I ever wanted to, to people so that I would never regret it, but I haven't.

Here I am saying, "I wish I had told Corin all this."

And I can't.

I don't really believe in --or know what happens after a person dies. I don't know if she can sense this, or ever find out I felt these things. I can't imagine...whether --I dont know what I'm typing anymore.

"Rest in peace" is what people say when someone dies. What does that mean? I say that when I don't feel very much for those people.

I wasn't close to Corin. The pain I feel is slight and nothing compared to those who loved her most.

I want to say, "I am glad to have known you. I am glad to have met you. I wish I had said this to you. I am sorry you are gone. This world is a sadder place without you."

The last part sounds cliche, but it's true. Corin was a wonderful person. You could tell by just talking to her. She was always all smiles, all kind words. I loved her, not like a close friend or family member, or lover would --but as someone who is glad to have known her, to have spoken to her, and to have had the honour of being brushed by her in this life as we passed each other by.

I am glad to have met you. Thank you, and wherever you are now, I wish you well from the very bottom of my heart.


I dont have the heart to delete this, but I don't want anyone to read this because a blog post cheapens everything. This isn't meant to be a corny post. This is what I feel, and nobody should really need to read this and I don't want you to. I just dont have the heart to delete this.

Tackle Liberals before it's too late.

Tackle "extreme Islam before it's too late"

Me again. With another rant.

So picture yourself on the train. The train stops at the next station and two men stroll into the carriage. One is an unshaven, beer-smelling, slack mouthed bogan, and the other is a clean, quiet, well-mannered man wearing Muslim garb.

Who would you rather sit next to you?

Well, I know my answer wouldn't be the bogan.

Now I've moved around alot. Almost once every year since I was born, to be exact (or rather, not really, because I said 'almost'...but close enough).

I've met all sorts of people.

You've got the:

- nice worldly people with uncommon good sense
- nice enough people who aren't very worldly but are open minded
- nice enough people who aren't worldly at all but...think they are (they're harmless enough, just ignore them if they start talking)
- nice enough people who couldnt care less about the world
- close minded bigots whose entire world revolves around backward values

Or variations of the above.

I'm sorry, but I've never quite warmed to the last lot. Unfortunately, they're everywhere.
I saw a news program a few months ago where they were discussing how Muslim women should not be allowed to cover their faces in Australia.
One woman was interviewed and said, "I think they're scary. Yeah, (sic) because I can't see their faces."
I sat there and gaped at the television screen. Was she SERIOUS?!
Personally I think her ignorance is scarier.
Then you've got all these numbskulls talking about "Well, if you move to Australia, you have to embrace the Australian lifestyle."

I'm sorry, I was born here, all my friends growing up were white, and I actually hate BBQing in 40 degree heat. Are you going to deport me?

WTF is this 'Australian lifestyle' I keep hearing about?

All right, I'll admit it, I do think people should at least learn English. I mean, it's really ridiculous to expect to live in a country and not speak its language (although plenty of Americans do that in Hong Kong and nobody really says anything about that but whatever...). At the same time, why should a person give up their culture?

I love being an Australian Born Chinese. I love Chinese New Year, I love chinese food and I love Jet Li. I am not giving up Jet Li for Shane Warne. I'm just not. Firstly, Shane is a chubby cheating attention-whore, and secondly because Jet is infinitely cooler. Thirdly because he can kick your ass and played the best Wong Fei Hong ever.

I thought being Australian was about being open-minded and embracing other cultures. What's this awesome multiculturalism we keep boasting about? Where's that going to go if we expect everyone to go all bogan once their feet touch this soil?

And most importantly, where the hell do you people think you're going to get good food?
Australian cuisine is actually crap. You know it, I know it. If you all ate snags and backed beans everyday you'd die. Or want to. It all amounts to the same thing really.

I am so angrified by this article I want to go and strangle bogans. Just take them by their horrible stringly hair and strangle them with it. Then bathe in dettol.