So I'm finishing a dream where I'm being put on trial for shooting a girl in the back of the neck with a BB gun. I maintain that it was self defense as she and her friends were shooting real bullets at me as they drove past. Meanwhile, I'm dealing with the personal issue of Andy having caused all of this by asking this girl out to tea earlier. I also note in my head that she is 15.
It's all very dramatic and Freud would have a field day analyzing it all, but then I am struck awake by the sound of Alicia Keys crooning "New Yorrrrrk...Concrete jungle where dreams are made of--".
I pick up my phone groggily and note 'BLOCKED'. I wonder briefly, '...Mum?'
I answer and the following conversation begins. Chloe. Agent.
"Hello?"
"Hello, Chloe, this is Tiffa
"Oh, Hi."
"I just wanted to say I checked with Fair Trading and they having not received any letter." (These aren't typos. She was fob.)
"Oh, but I sent it on Tues --"
"But they haven't received it. Can you please send it ASAP because it's really unfair for me to wait. I have to pay the cleaners."
(To which I think, 'bull shit. You have to pay the mortgage.')
"Maybe I punched the wrong number in. Can you resend the number to me?"
"Sure, I will. But please make sure you do it for me ASAP."
So we hang up and I think, "wow, she must really need this. Okay, I'll do it in the arvo--you know, when I wake up."
A minute later Alicia starts crooning again.
"Hello?"
"Hello Chloe? It's Tiffa."
"Oh, hi. You...haven't sent me the number?"
"I know. I just wanted to say that you have to send the letter today or I will have to go to the Tribunal, because well it's been a month since you moved and really..."
(I tune out at this point because I know it's crap. Fair Trading sent me a letter earlier in the week saying that I don't need to do anything if I agree with this claim, it would be paid in 2 weeks.)
"Listen, Tiffa, I'll do it, just send me the number again," I try to intersect through the onslaught of attempted guilt-tripping and false threatening.
"Do not yell at me!" She says and continues rambling.
At this point, because I am quite tired and ill, I decide I'm sick of it and hang up.
A moment later, I hear Anson's phone go off (he was borrowing Mum's because his sim card died).
The shortened (slightly) version of what follows is that I take the phone from Anson and tell her exactly what I think. That she is being unreasonable, rude and that I know exactly what my rights are.
"I have been very good to you. I always repair anything that's broke," she begins.
What a pathetic attempt at guilting me. Does she not know I have been trained with the most apt guilt trip guru ever? (My mother.)
I then go to read to her an excerpt of the letter Fair Trade sent me, and her weak reply is,
"Well I do not think I deserve to wait 2 weeks for it."
I think, "I don't think 2 weeks is enough, you child."
I try to reason with her again, to which she would not, again, let me speak and then she hangs up on me.
I call her back.
"Hello?"
"...Are you ready to talk like an adult now?"
(Hey I get the hypocrisy of this statement, but I'm 22 and she's what? 40? She should really know better. =P)
"Yes, I am ready. I just treat you the way you treat me."
"Oh, wow, I've learnt my lesson so well. I will never do it again. Good job."
She rambles some more, and I remind her that though she has been a good landlord, I have also been a good tenant. I tell her I will re-fax the letter, and then again, she hangs up on me.
So the next email follows:
Dear
I have faxed the letter through (again), though to be quite honest, in response to the crude, distasteful way in which you have treated me regarding this matter, anyone else may have just let you wait another two weeks for it.
However, I do understand that it is quite difficult for you at the moment, financially, as I do know you have yet to successfully lease out your unit.
For that reason, I assure you that I bear you no hard feelings and wholeheartedly forgive you for the unprofessional conduct you have shown towards me, especially the second phone call to me this morning, which you must admit as we both know, was nothing more than a scare-tactic --a very rude one at that, which in actuality is much an insult to my intelligence, and yours, but again, I do sympathize with your reasons very much and hold no grudges.
Please be assured of my best wishes for the future, although as a friend, I must remind you that sadly, other tenants may not be so understanding.
Kindly,
Chloe Law
I feel better, and I think she might just be...well...livid at this point. If she can get past reading so much English that is.
As they say "Goodbye and good riddance!"
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